The sudden surge in popularity a few Babas have received in the past few years has made me seriously reconsider my career choice as a biotechnologist. Yoga empire of 11 billion dollars is what our most favorite Baba has amassed. That's just the white money. Couple that with the estimated figure of his black money and you have a figure which puts software billionaires to shame.
India is a country that has been awed by 2 things, miracles and a leader. Do either one thing, amaze the Indian population and watch yourself rise in their eyes as a God sent. Videos of babas hoaxing the crowd with magic tricks has surfed around facebook for quite sometime now. And you see blind believers astonished at the remarkable feat of their gurus cementing the position of a miracle worker in their heads.
I guess its just that the poor and the impoverished look for a rope to climb out of their miseries. Their faith in God and his extreme powers makes the babas a medium for them to be blessed by the lord himself. So as the babas keep adding zeroes to their bank accounts, the scientifically strong India should learn a thing or two from them to make quick money.
This note will provide you with the guidelines and the procedures to be followed to become a successful baba. Here we go.
1. Order a saffron robe from Calvin Klein. If you are starting a business you need a capital and the right raw materials. So invest !
2. Make up any Yoga positions your body can perform and associate them with a disease's cure. We all know how a certain baba has cured cancer by wiggling his toes or something. How brilliant is THAT !!
3. Pick up a social issue and go on a fast. That creates quite a stir as we have seen recently. The motive of a certain fast a few weeks back was to get the money locked in Swiss banks back in the country. Never mind the billions you have made Mr. Baba. That money is yours.
4. DO NOT donate the billions that you make. Instead ask the government to release funds for the poor. And thus become an idol to the unsuspecting millions.
5. Create a media stir by picking a socially relevant topic. This can range from Sexual preferences of people to move in relationships. That makes your presence felt in the urban India.
6. MAGIC !!! As we have all attended general chemistry laboratories, we have seen chemicals change color. We have been awed by such an event when we first saw it. The unsuspecting under privileged population who could never have the opportunity to see chemical reactions that changed the color of substrates, will absolutely love you.
7. Never raise you voice against turmoil. When address to what actually matters, like the militancy, naxals, terrorists or the fact that the poor need to send their children to school. Instead do 5.
8. Smoke weed when you can. It elevates you to a higher plane of things and you attain a peaceful aura to fulfill point 7.
There you have it ! The general guidelines to become a successful baba. We could do with some new babas today. Remember it isn't as hard as you think it is. We all look at someone to throw us a helping hand. Become that hand for the masses and collect their hard earned money. Hello Mr Billionaire.
NOTE (in a note) - The views expressed in this note is not meant to hurt sentiments. Its a comical way to look at our world. How our lives center around our beliefs. You can love the babas you see on TV and respect him. But, I, for one am really disappointed with peopl ewho have the power to do so much more than just fill their pockets with chillers. I didn't need to put the disclaimer as im in America, the land of free speech and thoughts (kuch bhi!!!). But I am an Indian and want the non facebooking population to understand they they alone can change their lives.
India is a country that has been awed by 2 things, miracles and a leader. Do either one thing, amaze the Indian population and watch yourself rise in their eyes as a God sent. Videos of babas hoaxing the crowd with magic tricks has surfed around facebook for quite sometime now. And you see blind believers astonished at the remarkable feat of their gurus cementing the position of a miracle worker in their heads.
I guess its just that the poor and the impoverished look for a rope to climb out of their miseries. Their faith in God and his extreme powers makes the babas a medium for them to be blessed by the lord himself. So as the babas keep adding zeroes to their bank accounts, the scientifically strong India should learn a thing or two from them to make quick money.
This note will provide you with the guidelines and the procedures to be followed to become a successful baba. Here we go.
1. Order a saffron robe from Calvin Klein. If you are starting a business you need a capital and the right raw materials. So invest !
2. Make up any Yoga positions your body can perform and associate them with a disease's cure. We all know how a certain baba has cured cancer by wiggling his toes or something. How brilliant is THAT !!
3. Pick up a social issue and go on a fast. That creates quite a stir as we have seen recently. The motive of a certain fast a few weeks back was to get the money locked in Swiss banks back in the country. Never mind the billions you have made Mr. Baba. That money is yours.
4. DO NOT donate the billions that you make. Instead ask the government to release funds for the poor. And thus become an idol to the unsuspecting millions.
5. Create a media stir by picking a socially relevant topic. This can range from Sexual preferences of people to move in relationships. That makes your presence felt in the urban India.
6. MAGIC !!! As we have all attended general chemistry laboratories, we have seen chemicals change color. We have been awed by such an event when we first saw it. The unsuspecting under privileged population who could never have the opportunity to see chemical reactions that changed the color of substrates, will absolutely love you.
7. Never raise you voice against turmoil. When address to what actually matters, like the militancy, naxals, terrorists or the fact that the poor need to send their children to school. Instead do 5.
8. Smoke weed when you can. It elevates you to a higher plane of things and you attain a peaceful aura to fulfill point 7.
There you have it ! The general guidelines to become a successful baba. We could do with some new babas today. Remember it isn't as hard as you think it is. We all look at someone to throw us a helping hand. Become that hand for the masses and collect their hard earned money. Hello Mr Billionaire.
NOTE (in a note) - The views expressed in this note is not meant to hurt sentiments. Its a comical way to look at our world. How our lives center around our beliefs. You can love the babas you see on TV and respect him. But, I, for one am really disappointed with peopl ewho have the power to do so much more than just fill their pockets with chillers. I didn't need to put the disclaimer as im in America, the land of free speech and thoughts (kuch bhi!!!). But I am an Indian and want the non facebooking population to understand they they alone can change their lives.
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